A Doctor's Guide to Managing Holiday Stress
- Dr. Myriam Delgado, MD
- Nov 3
- 6 min read
Dr. Delgado offers a perspective on managing holiday stress, providing practical strategies for setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and anchoring your well-being amidst the season's pressures.
The paradox of the holiday season is that a time intended for joy, connection, and peace often becomes the most stressful period of the year. Our calendars fill, our to-do lists lengthen, and the pressure to create a "perfect" holiday experience can feel immense.
Takeaways
Acknowledge that it's normal for the holidays to be a source of stress, not just joy.
Proactively manage your commitments by learning to say a "gracious no" to protect your time and energy.
Let go of the pressure for a "perfect" holiday and embrace what is "good enough" to reduce self-imposed stress.
Maintain your core routines (sleep, nutrition, movement) to keep your body and mind stable.
It's important to make space for all emotions, including grief or loneliness, which can be heightened during this time.
The Holiday Paradox: A Physician's Guide to Protecting Your Peace
Hello, I'm Dr. Myriam Delgado. In my work at Biolife Health Center, I often think of the human body as a finely calibrated instrument. It thrives on rhythm and balance. Then, the holiday season arrives. It’s a time we are told should be filled with light, joy, and connection. Yet for so many, it feels like a period of intense pressure that throws our internal instruments completely out of tune.
The expectations are immense: the perfect meal, the perfect gifts, the perfectly harmonious family gathering. We carry a mental blueprint of what the holidays should be, and the stress comes from the frantic effort to make reality match that impossible ideal. From a physiological standpoint, our bodies respond to this pressure by kicking our "fight-or-flight" system into high gear, flooding us with stress hormones like cortisol. The result is often exhaustion, anxiety, and irritability—the very opposite of what the season is meant to inspire.
My goal here is to offer you not just tips, but a compassionate framework for recalibrating your approach. Let's explore some practical strategies to help you protect your mental health and find genuine peace this holiday season.
1. Redraw Your Holiday Blueprint: The Power of "Good Enough"
Many of us are burdened by the pursuit of a flawless holiday experience. We feel we must replicate cherished memories from the past or meet an idealized standard we've seen in movies or on social media. This is a recipe for anxiety.
Give Yourself Permission for Imperfection: This year, I invite you to consciously let go of "perfect" and embrace "good enough." The meal doesn't have to be worthy of a magazine cover. The decorations can be simple. It’s okay if a new tradition doesn't go exactly as planned. The true value of the season lies in connection, not in flawless execution.
Be Intentional About Your Traditions: I once had a patient, let's call her Maria, who was deeply distressed every year by the pressure of baking dozens of different kinds of cookies, a tradition her mother had loved. When we talked, she admitted the process no longer brought her joy, only stress. I encouraged her to choose just one favorite to bake and to let the others go. By consciously editing her tradition, she reclaimed her time and her peace. Ask yourself: Which traditions genuinely bring you joy, and which have become stressful obligations? You have the authority to edit your own blueprint.
2. Learn the "Gracious No": Setting Healthy Boundaries
The holiday season presents a flurry of invitations and requests. While it comes from a place of celebration, it can easily lead to an over-committed schedule and a depleted spirit.
View Your Energy as a Finite Resource: Like a bank account, you have a finite amount of social and emotional energy. Every "yes" is a withdrawal. Before you commit, pause and ask yourself: "Do I genuinely want to do this, and do I have the energy for it?"
Practice Simple, Kind Refusals: Saying "no" doesn't have to be confrontational. A gracious "no" is a powerful tool for self-care. You can say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me! My schedule is already quite full this year, so I won't be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time." You are not required to provide a lengthy explanation.
3. Anchor Yourself in Routine: The Importance of Stability
When the holiday schedule becomes chaotic, our foundational health habits are often the first things to go. We stay up later, eat more processed foods, and skip our usual walk or gym session. This destabilizes our bodies at the very moment we need stability the most.
Protect Your Sleep: Aim for consistency in your bedtime and wake-up time as much as possible. A well-rested brain is far more resilient to stress.
Nourish Your Body: Enjoy the festive treats, but don't abandon the nutrient-dense foods that sustain you. Continue to prioritize proteins, fruits, and vegetables. This helps stabilize your blood sugar and, by extension, your mood.
Keep Moving: Physical activity is one of the most effective stress-reducers we have. It helps to metabolize excess stress hormones and boosts mood-elevating endorphins. Even a brisk 15-minute walk can make a significant difference. Think of these habits as your anchor in the stormy sea of the holiday season.
4. Make Space for All Feelings: Acknowledging Grief and Loneliness
For many, the holidays are a poignant and painful reminder of loss. The empty chair at the table or the absence of a cherished tradition can feel heavier than ever. In a season that relentlessly pushes cheer, it is vital to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel sad.
Don't "Should" on Your Feelings: Avoid telling yourself you "should" be happy. Grief and joy can coexist. Allowing yourself to feel sadness or loneliness is a compassionate act.
Create New Rituals of Remembrance: If an old tradition is too painful without a loved one, consider creating a new one to honor their memory. This could be lighting a candle, sharing a favorite story, making a donation in their name, or simply taking a quiet moment of reflection.
Summary: A Prescription for a More Peaceful Holiday
Managing your mental health during the holidays is not about eliminating stress entirely, but about managing it with intention and self-compassion. The key is to shift your focus from creating a perfect external experience to cultivating a peaceful internal one. This involves consciously redrawing your expectations to embrace what is "good enough," setting firm but gracious boundaries to protect your energy, anchoring yourself in the stabilizing power of routine, and giving yourself permission to feel the full range of human emotions that this season can evoke.
Final Thought
The most precious gift you can give yourself and your loved ones this holiday season is the gift of a present, less-stressed version of you. This is not selfish; it is essential. When you care for your own well-being, you are better able to connect with others in a meaningful way. I encourage you to approach this season not as a performance to be perfected, but as an opportunity for genuine, imperfect, and peaceful connection.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How can I manage the financial stress of the holidays?
Start by setting a realistic budget. Then, have an open conversation with your family about expectations. Suggest alternatives to expensive gift-giving, such as drawing names, setting a price limit, giving handmade gifts, or planning a shared experience instead of exchanging items.
What is the best way to deal with difficult family members during gatherings?
Plan ahead. Decide on your boundaries before the event. If a topic is off-limits, have a polite phrase ready to redirect the conversation, such as, "I'd prefer we talk about something more cheerful today. Did you see that new movie?" It's also wise to have an "exit strategy"—a reason you may need to step away or leave if the situation becomes too stressful.
I live alone, and the holidays make me feel especially lonely. What can I do?Acknowledge your feelings and be proactive. Volunteer for a cause you care about, which is a wonderful way to connect with others and find purpose. Reach out to friends who may also be on their own and suggest a small gathering or outing. Embrace the quiet time for activities you truly enjoy, reframing it as a peaceful retreat.
I feel guilty for not feeling "in the holiday spirit." How do I handle that?
Guilt is a common but unhelpful response. Your feelings are valid. Remind yourself that the curated images of holiday joy we see in the media are not everyone's reality. Give yourself the same compassion you would offer a friend. Focus on small things that bring you a sense of comfort, whether it's a favorite book, a warm blanket, or a walk in nature.
How can I manage the pressure of social media during the holidays?
It's wise to be mindful of your social media consumption. Remember that you are only seeing a highlight reel of everyone else's life, not the messy reality behind the scenes. Consider taking a digital detox for a day or a weekend, or unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of comparison or inadequacy.
