Why We All Need A Little Time Away
- Sara Johnson, BA, Psy
- 24 minutes ago
- 4 min read
How stepping away helps you connect better with others.
It feels like we are always on call. Between work emails and family needs, our days blur together into one long shift. Stepping away is how we repair our brains and protect our health. We need to stop seeing solitude as a luxury and start treating it as a basic human need.
Takeaways
Quiet time lowers your daily stress levels.
Solitude helps you figure out what you want.
Stepping away makes you a better friend.
Your brain needs rest to solve hard problems.
You don't need to earn your breaks.
I talk to a lot of people who are just tired. They wake up, check their phones, get the kids ready, go to work, and come home. It's a constant loop of noise. But our brains weren't built to process that much input without a break.
We need alone time to actually figure out what is going on in our own heads.
Giving your brain a break.
Think of your mind like a sponge. If you keep holding it under running water, it eventually stops soaking anything up. It just floods.
Recent 2026 studies show that spending time alone drops our blood pressure and lowers our heart rate. When we sit quietly, our brain turns on something called the default mode network. This is the background system that sorts through our memories and helps us make sense of our day. You can read more about how resting impacts our bodies in this article about community and mental health. I had a client who started sitting in her car for ten minutes after she parked in her driveway. Just staring at the steering wheel.
She told me those ten minutes were the only reason she had the patience to walk inside and cook dinner.
Figuring out who you are.
We act differently depending on who is in the room. We bend to fit our bosses, our partners, and our friends. Jean Piaget noticed years ago that kids learn through play, but they also need quiet moments to actually build their own internal logic.
Adults are exactly the same.
When you're alone, there is no peer pressure. You don't have to laugh at jokes that aren't funny. You just get to exist. I think this is where we actually figure out what we believe and what we want to do next.
Spending time away from the crowd gives us the space to process our true feelings.
How distance helps us connect.
It sounds backward. But stepping away from people actually makes you better at loving them. When we never get a break, we get snappy. We lose our empathy.
Taking an hour to walk in the woods or read a magazine refills your emotional tank.
You come back to your family with actual energy to share instead of just scraping the bottom of the barrel. It's hard to support your neighborhood or your family if you're completely exhausted. True wellness requires us to care for ourselves so we can care for others. You can learn a bit more about how this connects to building a healthy life in this piece on motivation and brain function.
Making it happen.
I know that finding alone time is hard. It's often a privilege tied to having extra money or childcare. So you can start very small. Wake up fifteen minutes earlier. Leave your phone in the kitchen while you drink your coffee. Go for a short walk without a podcast playing.
Just give yourself a minute to breathe.
FAQs
Is there a difference between being lonely and being alone?
Yes. Being lonely is a sad feeling when you want to connect with people but can't. Being alone is just a physical state. You can choose to be alone and feel really happy and relaxed about it.
How much alone time do I actually need every day?
There is no magic number. Some people need a full hour to feel normal again. Other people feel great after just ten minutes of quiet breathing on their porch. You just have to test it out and see what your body needs.
What should I do during my alone time?
You don't need to be productive. You can just sit and look out a window. You can read a book or take a bath or go for a walk. The only rule is to avoid scrolling on your phone because that just fills your brain with more noise.
Does listening to music count as being alone?
It depends on the music. If you are listening to loud songs with a lot of lyrics, your brain is still working hard to process that information. But listening to soft instrumental music can actually help your mind wander and rest.
How do I tell my family I need to be left alone?
Just be honest and kind. You can tell them you are feeling overwhelmed and need twenty minutes to reset. Let them know it has nothing to do with them. It's just a quick break so you can come back feeling better.
Sources
American Psychological Association. (2024). The restorative power of solitude. American Psychological Association.
Greater Good Science Center. (2025). Why we need to spend time alone. UC Berkeley.
National Institutes of Health. (2022). How the brain's default mode network helps us rest and process. NIH News in Health.
